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Kanyadan The Gift Of a Virgin:-


The rite of kanyadan at a Brahman wedding

One of the most unusual forms of marriage, in world cultures, is the Indian idea of marriage-as-gift. The indigenous term is very close to Marcel Mauss's conception of the gift: dan means, literally, "gift." Kanya is a young girl, a virgin. The most sacred form of marriage for 2500 years in India has been kanyadan, "the gift of a girl." The concept has a prominent place in ancient Hindu lawbooks, and is known everywhere today, as well. The "love match"--well known in India as the Western way of making marriages--is considered scandalous and immoral, especially in Mithila.

When a man's daughter comes close to puberty, he begins the search for a husband for her. It is his responsibility to take the initiative; grooms' families bide their time, waiting for offers. The idea behind kanyadan is that a virgin is the best gift a man will ever have to give; he seeks to give this precious gift, therefore, to a worthy recipient. He likens this gift to a gift to the gods; "My daughter's husband is Vishnu to me," said one Srotriya. Of course, this recipient must be a member of his own caste, but preferably someone of a slightly higher status than his own.

A Woman's Life Stages


This young wife performs tusari during the first year of her marriage.

Kanya Young girls, prior to their marriage, generally live carefree lives in their father's household with their heads uncovered. They are carefully sheltered from contact with the opposite sex; protection of their virginity is one of their father's most sacred duties. She is taught from the age of five or six to pray to the goddess Gauri to bring her a husband "like Shiva." These days she may be allowed to go to school, but in rural Bihar many Brahmans still worry about letting their daughters get too educated; e.g., 9th grade may be "too educated." Around puberty their father begins the search for a husband. The legal age of marriage in India is sixteen for girls, but many are married younger than this, for traditionally it was a sin of the father to let his daughter come of age while still unmarried and living in his house.

Suhag When a woman is married, she enters the auspicious state of suhag. This term refers a married woman with a living husband; it suggests she is sexually active and bearing children. She wears the mark of her suhag in her vivid saris, in arms jingling with bangles, gold around her neck and ears, and above all in the red powder she puts in the part of her hair every morning. However, the transition may be difficult, for she is taken to live in a strange household in a strange village, married to a husband she has never met. She must keep her head veiled at all times in her husband's village and must observe avoidance taboos with all the men senior to her husband. E.g., if she's sitting on the verandah and her father-in-law arrives, she flees to an inner room.

Vidva When a woman's husband dies, she becomes a widow (the term vidva is cognate to English "widow"). As her husband's body is taken by men to be burned, women take her to the pond, where they break her bangles, wash the red powder out of her hair, and robe her in a white sari. She will never again wear the ornaments and beautiful saris of a suhagin, but instead will live a life of asceticism in her dead husband's household. She is thought to be quite inauspicious, and she stays in the background during all auspicious ritual occasions such as weddings.



These women in a Brahman village in Mithila are engaged in a ceremony for a bride during the first year of her marriage (bride's in yellow). You can identify the life stages of the other women from their dress.

The Wedding Procedure
 

	The 15 year old bride waits anxiously to learn  whether her father has arranged her marriage.
	The women of the compound await the arrival of the  groom. A magical kalash and ox yoke are in waiting  in the middle of the compound.
	Men of the family await the arrival of the groom separately. Men and women have different ritual responsibilities at the wedding.
	The groom arrives, welcomed by the women of the household. A woman on the far left represents "grandmother yogi," whose powerful eyes assures the  bride's control over the groom.
	The vidkari, the bride's assistant, welcomes the groom with sandalpaste and tests of his ascetic training.
	In this test, the groom's ascetic control of breathing is demonstrated. Or is it, as the women say, another bit of magic so the bride can lead him by the nose?
	Dhobin suhag - The bride receives the blessing of the dhobi's wife, who is said never to become a widow. She always dies before her husband. The blessing is transferred by touching a bit of yogurt to the hair of the dhobin and giving it to the bride to eat.
	The groom and bride are led to the Kul Devi shrine--the only time the groom will ever enter the room of his father-in-law's lineage goddess.
	Gauri Puja - the bride thanks the goddess Gauri for bringing her a husband "like Shiva." Gauri is the betelnut on the head of the clay elephant.
	Gauri Puja - the bride has finished thanking Gauri for  the groom she has brought; Gauri can be seen on the elephant's head.
	Otangar - The ceremonial pounding of rice by 8 Brahman men. Every marriage is the mixing and combining of "seed" or bloodlines connecting patrilineages in new ways. The groom joins in otangar,  the mixing and processing of seed in the mortar/womb.
	Nana yogin - "Grandmother yogi" is a mysterious rite of  the women in which a tray of magical objects is waved  over the groom's head while these words are chanted:  "Take your yoga and give us wealth." Images of nana  yogin are found in all four corners of the room, always  shown with a fan and a tray on her head.
	Bride and groom, who have never met, and have not seen each other's face, have their photo taken during  this lull in events.
	Bride and groom sit side by side facing the sacred flame. Across from them, with his back to us, is the girl's father. Between them on the right is the presiding Brahman. The sacred flame made of sandalwood and ghi for fuel calls the god Agni to witness the marriage.
	Kanyadan - the rite in which the father formally presents "the gift of a virgin." He takes the groom's hand and lays his daughter's hand in it.
	Saptapadi - the seven steps around the sacred flame. Bride and groom have been tied together to signify their new union, and they circle the sacred flame where  Agni resides, taking the first seven steps of life's  journey together.
	Sindurdan - The "gift of sindur" is the husband's first gift to his wife. Sindur in the part of a married woman's  hair signifies her auspicious wifehood (suhag); while her husband lives, she will renew this red powder every day.
	Ghungat - "the veiling"--The husband veils her head for the first time, her brother unveils her, representing the dual lives of a woman, a proud unveiled daughter of her father's village and a modestly veiled wife in her husband's village.
	Durbakschat - the Brahman men toss husked rice at bride and groom, a wish for fertility and prosperity.
	Chumaon - women wave the tray filled with magical  objects over the bride and groom, wishing them  protection by feminine powers.
	After four days of ceremonies at the bride's house ,she  and her husband are carried to the husband's village in this unique way. A special caste, known as Kahars,  has the responsibility for carrying Brahman brides to their  husbands' villages.

Source :-  http://www.csuchico.edu/anth/mithila/